Yesterday, after several weeks of thought and a few tears (well, maybe more than a few,) I cancelled my car insurance, sold my car to my son-in-law and decided I was no longer a driver.
It wasn't so hard. Truth - it wasn't so easy either. But it's done.
No, I don't have a sleep disorder, but I am almost seventy. Neither my eyesight nor my reflexes are what they used to be. Nether is my patience.
My husband had sleep apnea. We should have stripped him of his driving privileges years before he died. We couldn't. I know. It was wrong. He could have injured or killed someone. The old car looked like a victim of a terrorist attack when we finally sold it after his death.
But none of us had the heart to strip him of one of the few pleasures he had left. None of us had the nerve, the ability to watch his face as we chopped away another small chunk of his life. I don't want the kids to go through that with me.
I have family and friends willing to drive me where ever I need to go. With the money I save on insurance, maintenance and gas, I can take an awful lot of public transportation. And, I live in a small town. Once the weather warms up, I can walk. It'll be good for me.
Last fall, I winterized the vehicle, drove it home and parked it. A few days later, the snows came. It hasn't moved since. It's harder on me to see it sitting there, buried under a deep drift, like an old friend, abandoned, than to know someone else will now be looking after its needs.
Yes, I've lost a bit more of my independence. It goes along with moving into a single room in my daughter's house a year or so ago. But, I've also gained a lot of peace of mind. To be truthful, I was beginning to fear driving. What if I got into a bind? What if I hurt someone else?
Thank about it. Especially you folks who do suffer from a sleep disorder that makes you drive only half alert. Do you want injury or a death on your hands? I made the big decision, and I feel nothing but relief. I'm at peace.
